Guest Review: My Brother’s House

To the Management:

I am leaving this unsolicited review which, even though management did not ask for it, I hope will be helpful to both your staff and leadership team.

My recent stay at your establishment was initially marred by several events and miscommunications, but in the end I have decide to give your house a rating of 4.5 stars, which is certainly among the highest ratings I have given for family homes, and one that is far above my initial rating of 1 star.

Breakfast

My holiday began on a low note when I was asked to make scones for everyone. Far from being a guest, I was treated as kitchen staff. “What is for breakfast?,” I inquired from the hostess (my sister-in-law), to which she replied, “You are making blueberry scones.” While the scones were, of course, delicious, I was nevertheless surprised and somewhat flustered at having to make my own meal, as well as that of the hosts themselves.
Stars: 1/5

Dessert

The unanticipated commune work ethic struck again when I was asked to supply pie for one of the meals at this B&B. I have stayed at many hotels, motels, inns, and lodges, and this is the first time that I was asked to supply dessert for one of the meals being served. My sense of outrage was slightly mitigated by the fact that the pie — my traditional chocolate chip pecan pie — was so darned good.
Stars: 2/5

Beverages

Similarly, I was also forced to make full pots of coffee several times during the week. While I usually see coffee makers as a standard perk in nicer hotel rooms, I was less excited by it simply being the main coffee pot in the dining area. Moreover, I noticed that even though I made this coffee, other people in the lodge — including the hosts — partook of the delicious coffee I made. I’ve never had to deal with this situation when making coffee in hotel rooms, since I am always the only person besides room service staff with access to that coffee. At least the coffee maker was very good, much better than the one-cup plastic models I’m familiar with in most hotel rooms.
Stars: 2/5

Clientele

Meanwhile, I observed a notable lack of sophistication in the lodge’s other clientele. To wit: I was horrified to see an elderly guest (my mother) pilfer extra packets of Splenda from the serving table, jamming them into her purse. I am positive she did not pay for these items, because she never, ever does.
It is perhaps unfair to rate the establishment on the behavior of guests, but the management has a choice over whom it provides rooms for and always has the option to remove guests who are not up to some kind of reasonable standard.
Stars: 1/5

Lodging, meals, entertainment, staff

Finally, I should note that everything else about the establishment was top-notch, from the roomy bedroom, to the comfort of the furniture, to the spacious common areas shared by all guests, to the wonderful meals served (especially the pie), to the evenings’ entertainments shared with the staff, to the unceasing friendliness of the staff themselves. All of these were so far beyond expectations that I am compelled to go beyond the limits of the standard rating system.
Stars: 16.5/5

Conclusion

Although my experience, honest ratings, and description above started out on a very low note, when you average everything together it results in:
Stars: 4.5/5
Would stay again. If invited back.